Marriage doesn’t make you blind {The Marriage Diaries Part 4}

Lately being married has been really fun. Not that it isn’t usually fun, but it’s just been extra fun.

We have shared lots of laughs these past few weeks and just enjoyed being together, even if we aren’t doing the same thing. Honestly, I think we’ve had a pretty strong first year and a half of marriage. We’ve disagreed, hurt each other’s feelings and said mean things, but we always come back together and own up to our sin. I’m really thankful for how much God has grown us this year in seeing more of our own sin (and each other’s!), yet learning to love each other anyway.

Something I have really appreciated lately is that there’s freedom to be honest about… well, weird things. At least, they may seem weird to you, but I hope they don’t.

Jacob and I were talking just the other day about times we have been attracted to people besides each other. (You’re probably thinking woah!! Red flags!!) But, here’s the truth no one really wants to admit: being married doesn’t make you blind to other attractive people. Marriage doesn’t exempt you from having feelings directed toward people other than your spouse, either.

It’s kind of a huge misconception, especially among women my age, that once you get married, you won’t ever feel attracted to another man. Or, even moreso, that your husband won’t find another woman attractive or feel a “connection” to another woman.

And that’s just not reality. Marriage doesn’t make you blind.

That’s why it’s so important to talk about those things.

Ignoring those emotions is like sweeping them under the rug. They don’t “go away” there… you just can’t see them on the surface. It’s a little secret that just you and the broom know, hoping no one else will notice. And don’t we all know that secrets eventually become too much? They change you into someone you feel ashamed to be… that’s why you’re under the rug, after all, right?

We are learning to sweep things into the middle of the room, our room, and talk about them. Pray about them. Because we want to be faithful to each other and partners in pursuing faithfulness to God and each other. And for us, we’ve experienced a lot of freedom in being honest about these kind-of awkward things.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. -James 5:16

We are called to shepherd each other. To rebuke each other. To confess our sins to each other. And to lead each other back to Christ when we’ve gone astray. At this point in our marriage, we are just scraping the surface of all of those callings. But I’m really excited to keep growing and peeling away layer after layer as the years pass. I’m excited to grow with my husband in honesty with each other, and with everyone around us. Because we’re all struggling with something, we just may not think it’s “okay” to share.

P.S…. Don’t forget to link up with The Girl Between the Lines tomorrow! We’re sharing a trait we admire in someone in our lives! I’m excited to see who you look up to and what you admire. You can find more details here.