Don’t Wish Away Your Singleness

I’ve been married for two years now, so can I tell you that marriage is great? I’m sure you didn’t hear it from me first, though. I know there are lots of single ladies reading this who are longing for marriage… and probably already gearing up to click “exit” to leave this window out of exasperation. But I want to encourage you, so stick with me. Longing for marriage is a good thing, a natural thing, and something I can absolutely relate to! When I was single, I longed for marriage, too. I felt deep down inside of me that God created me to be a wife and I was eager to take up that role!

And I really don’t think that desire is a bad thing. I think most of us were created to get married and be sanctified through marriage. But I want to encourage you today not to wish away your singleness. Singleness is a gift, and, to be honest, the only Groom we are promised is Christ. He is more than enough.

Singleness is a gift because your mind is not torn between serving Christ and your husband – you can be totally focused on Christ (read 1 Corinthians 7:32-35). 

There is something so beautiful about being able to literally go and do whatever you feel lead to do. Spend all your free time investing in younger women. Have sleepovers. Take random fun and crazy trips. Spend a year in another country serving. Have other women over to your house for Bible study a few nights a week, etc. You are the only person you have to worry about right now, and that’s truly a gift! Listen to where God wants to use you and follow him without second-guessing.

Singleness is a gift because you will be sanctified through it. 

Just like marriage is a channel for sanctification, singleness is, too. Both of them bring their struggles – I think whichever is the opposite of  your “relationship status” is always the glorified one to you, because you don’t have it. But they both bring huge challenges and huge gifts – live in those moments and grow nearer to God through them. Don’t spend all of your time wishing you were somewhere you aren’t.

Singleness is a gift because you already have a Groom. 

Many women go into marriage expecting their husbands to fulfill their every unspoken need, which is totally unrealistic and unhealthy. In fact, it’s unrealistic to expect him to fulfill your every spoken need! He just can’t. But that’s okay, because your Savior, your ultimate Groom, already has and will continue to do so every minute of every day. If you do get married one day, you will be very well off if you spend your single days learning that Christ is your all in all. Because having an earthly husband won’t change that.

And, as much as our culture tells you the opposite, ladies, there is nothing wrong with you because you’re single. There are so many wonderful qualities about you that make you you, and that exemplify how much you are made in God’s image. Singleness is not a stepping stone to get somewhere else. It’s a part of life that will stretch you if you let it.

So today, if nothing else stuck – I hope that you can spend your days where God has you right now with wide eyes ready to follow where he points, instead of with your narrow eyes buried in the map you’ve drawn out for yourself. You are loved. So very loved.

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This post first appeared as a guest post on A Beautiful Exchange Blog last week.