|This photo really has absolutely nothing to do with this post, but I was practicing with the tripod and my hair looks cool, so…|
When you find yourself putting off the things you used to love because you’re too tired, need to rest, or just don’t have the mental energy to think about them, something is up. I used to love spending most of my free time tinkering around on this blog. I’d study stats, other blogs, tweak my design, brainstorm post and photo ideas, spend great time on my sponsorships, research how to grow my blog, etc. But over the past few weeks, blogging has felt like the last thing on my radar.
I don’t think it has anything to do with blogging, though. I think it has everything to do with how I’m spending all 168 hours of my week.
What I love about being married to a youth pastor is the opportunity to do great ministry with him – I wrote a little about that last week here. But sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t married to him how many less of my nights would be devoted to church. As Christians, it’s natural (and expected! and a joy!) to have evenings dedicated to church. But also as Christians, it’s our calling to spend evenings outside of the church in the communities around us. We aren’t only called to minister to each other – we’re called to make disciples of all nations… that means people who are different that us, people who live right next door to us, and people who we have to go out of our way to meet around town.
This fall, four out of my seven nights of the week are taken up by church events, between youth group, leading a high school girls’ small group, mine and Jacob’s young adult small group and our new Thursday night service where I’ll be serving at on the worship team. I am genuinely excited about all of these opportunities for service, growth and community! But part of me wonders how I’m supposed to fit in joining a yoga studio to attend classes and meet others in the community, training for my half marathon, hanging out with friends for fun, going on date nights with my husband and having some time alone in addition to my 8-5 job. Most importantly, all of this “service” doesn’t mean much if I’m not communing with the Lord on my own time.
Thinking through all of this, I’ve decided I need a life evaluation. I need to really look at how I’m committing my time and ask why I’m doing what I’m doing – is it to serve God or to meet my desire to feel needed and important? Am I orienting my time around him – loving him and showing others they are loved, too? – or around me? Am I doing these things for his glory or my own? That is such a scary question. Am I filling up all of my time because I don’t know how to rest and live life a little slower?
How do you manage your time and what you’re involved with at church? Any of you staff members or spouses of staff members share this problem?