If we were 100% in charge of the timing, Jacob and I very clearly tell people we aren’t ready to have kids. But in all reality, I know we aren’t in charge of that timing, so I’ve been hesitant to write out this post in case the next week our entire reality changes. 😉
But it’s my blog, so I can do what I want here, and I want to document these feelings. We have several good friends who are expecting, for whom we are very excited, but it’s weird to be in that stage where now announcing babies is almost more typical than announcing engagements.
The more we talk about kids, though, and think about how much our lives would drastically change once we have them, we aren’t ready. We’ve been married for two years, but there’s still so much I have to learn about Jacob… not to mention how to love him and honor him and minister to him above anyone else on earth! I can’t imagine how complicated that gets when you throw kids into the mix – I don’t want our lives to become so focused on our children that we lose each other! Is that a normal fear to have?
It often feels like you’re supposed to go to college, get married, have babies, grow them up, send them to college, etc… those are just the steps you’re supposed to take. But they aren’t required and they definitely shouldn’t be rushed. I don’t want to live my life always looking to the next thing – I want to be happy with where I am now. God has given me so much, in such abundance… and most of which I don’t even appreciate fully.
But most importantly, and maybe even more truthfully, neither one of us feels the tug to have kids right now… and that’s enough reason not to. Granted, if tomorrow I found out I was pregnant, we would be excited and life would move forward in a drastically new way. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not wishing for that every day. We just aren’t there yet, and that’s okay.
So for those of you in similar places, it’s okay. If you aren’t sure about having kids, that’s okay. There’s no pressure – it isn’t something you just follow the crowd into doing. If you do want kids, that’s awesome, too. That’s the beauty about life – we can (mostly) go where we want to go, when we’re ready to try it. There may be obstacles, or giant mountains, blocking the way, but that’s part of the ride. Your adventure is yours. Don’t let anyone else pressure you to do something you aren’t interested in or ready to do.
What are your thoughts? If not about babies, do you feel pressured in another area of life? I hope these words today can give you strength to go where you feel lead, not where you feel pushed.