The Day We Found Out

I’ve hesitated to share this post for some time now because our story isn’t a fairy tale, we’ve-been-dreaming-of-this-moment-forever story. And I know a lot of you can relate to that, and a lot of you can’t. 

We were surprised and not yet trying to expand our family when we got a positive test. But because of how much God has changed our hearts and grown us to count the seconds until Little Albrecht gets here, I wanted to record the whole process. This journey is a testament to us of God’s faithfulness – in providing when we didn’t fully understand at the time and in drawing us nearer to him because of it.

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The day we found out.

To be honest, I said a bad word. When I walked into the bathroom, fully expecting to see only 1 pink line, but instead saw TWO, I was shocked. And overwhelmed. And scared out of my mind.

It was Monday, August 3rd, early in the afternoon. We had just returned from taking a group of students to Maryland for CIY the week before, so I was home catching up on laundry and straightening the house. My period was a couple weeks late by this point, but I had taken two tests before we left for CIY that were both negative, so I assumed my cycle had gotten messed up and my period would show up in due time. While we were away, a friend encouraged me to take one more test when we got back, just to be sure.

I fought her on it, saying that I felt completely normal. I hadn’t experienced any “symptoms” like nausea, exhaustion, headaches, etc. I had just spent the week with teenagers 24/7 for goodness’ sake! But sometime early that Monday afternoon, I remembered my conversation with her and that I had an unused test in the bathroom. So I peed on it, left it on the bathroom counter and laid down on our bed while I waited.

Believe it or not, I actually forgot I had taken the test and got sucked into checking every possible app on my phone – ha! When I remembered (about twenty minutes later), I headed to the bathroom and  pulled up Erica’s text thread on the way there. I started typing, “Took another test – no worries…”

But thankfully I looked up before pressing send and then promptly erased everything I had typed. There were two lines on the stick.

I didn’t feel full of joy, but I didn’t feel disappointment,  either. I felt overwhelming shock and fear for what’s to come. All I could think was I’m not ready to be a mom – I’ve even told people I don’t WANT to be a mom right now. What is this going to change about our lives?

I immediately texted Jacob asking him when he’d be home from work and told him I had something to show him. He responded, “On my way!” and I thought that surely meant he may suspect the truth, but come to find out he just thought I bought him something. Ha!

I showed him the test and said, “This means I’m pregnant.” His eyes widened, I nodded and then promptly started crying, but he wrapped me up in a hug and said it would all be okay. (He was right of course.) I explained to him my fear and shock and he agreed. We hugged more and eventually broke into laughter because of all the feelings and the pure shock.

Ready or not, our lives were changing.

And at 27 weeks along already, I couldn’t agree more – our lives are changing drastically. But we are both looking forward to it. Praise God for his faithfulness, provision and his tendency to take us places we couldn’t have imagined for ourselves.

  • First of all, I think it’s okay to not be like “OMG YAY” when you find out your pregnant if you are not at ALL expecting to be pregnant. And secondly, who is even ever ready to become a parent? But you have a lot of love to give, and God thought it was time to love a little baby and bring that little baby up to love Jesus a lot too. 🙂

    • Amen to ALL of that. Thanks, Nina! 😉 He’s a good God and we are in this adventure WITH him!!

  • thanks for sharing this Lauren, i would be in a very similar spot right now if we found out we were expecting! and i think it’s okay because God is in the business of changing hearts! 🙂 which he is obviously doing!

    • Amen – that is what he does for sure! 🙂 And thanks for your encouragement!!

  • Oh girl, I cannot imagine what you’re feeling. But if I were to get pregnant right now, I think I would have very similar feelings. Not only are we waiting (Lord willing) until Pearson gets out of school, I do NOT feel ready to be a mom. In any way. This isn’t something I often tell people because it’s easier to use Pearson’s school as an excuse, but I am really not ready. I know you will be a wonderful mommy though and I’m sure if the Lord were to decide it was time for me, I would be too. Yay! I’m so excited for you!

    • Charlene, that’s exactly how I felt at the time!! It was super scary and the biggest shock because I felt the same way – just not ready. We were using student loans as our “excuse” to wait, but obviously God said now is the time haha. It’s been really encouraging for my heart to see how much God has changed me – and this unexpected situation really pushed me to lean into him. For that, I’m soooo grateful!

  • I was just about to write a similar post! I love this, because I think so often moms are kind of guilted into being thrilled IMMEDIATELY about pregnancy, and joy is definitely not always the first emotion that pops up! It can be difficult to acknowledge that pregnancy is a blessing but also (sometimes) an unexpected blessing… which can be challenging in itself! Thanks for sharing! And through both of my pregnancies, I’ve realized that God’s timing is always perfect and His plans are far better than anything I could have thought of on my own, so I hope you feel the same comfort. <3 — Lisa | Two Martinis

    • Yes yes yes!! I love that you can relate – like you said, there’s definitely pressure to feel joy and only joy IMMEDIATELY. But that doesn’t mean God can’t work in and through my “other” emotions – he most certainly has!!! The past 6 months have been an incredible time of leaning into him in unexpected ways, and he has grown my faith and relationship with him because of it! I’m so grateful!

  • I have to say, even though I was TRYING to get pregnant, I still felt a little shocked a panicked when it was finally positive. It’s a big change! I don’t think anyone is fully ready for it!!

    • Ha!! I totally agree – it’s such a life changing thing, there has to be some shock element I’m sure!! So excited for you and glad to share this pregnancy journey via blogging!!:)

  • I was always terrified about becoming a parent, and I was never “baby hungry” like all of my friends seemed to be. But becoming a mother last April changed me forever, and it was all for the better. Parenthood really is worth it, and God will fill you up with a love you never dreamed of. I had worried that for some reason, I wouldn’t feel that love like every mother talked about, but I DID (and I do), and it’s amazing because it’s so obvious that it’s from a divine source.

    It’s not like everything comes super easy, but overarching it all is that love that makes it all worth it. I wrote all about it in a post I wrote about the first week of motherhood. I’ve included the link below if you’re interested.

    http://autodidacticambitions.blogspot.com/2015/04/thoughts-on-my-first-week-of-motherhood.html

    • Torrie, thanks for your honesty and encouragement!! I have no doubt God will do the same in my heart – he has already done soooo much work, both in my growing love for our daughter & for him in this crazy situation!! Headed to your post now!

  • Girl, let me encourage you. We have an almost identical story. It is nothing to be ashamed of. As much as I wanted a baby, I also didn’t want a baby. I was content with life and wasn’t even ready to think about it. We weren’t trying. My husband all but forced me to take a pregnancy test because my period was so late. Nothing could ever surprise me more than the positive test. I was up all night crying. Not of disappointment, but just of pure terror. Once the shock wore off, we were cautiously happy, but basically just completely terrified and not ready. Motherhood has absolutely been hard, but looking back I see this as God giving me what I didn’t know I wanted or needed. He’s used this experience to weed out so many ugly things in my heart, and it’s still an ongoing process. I won’t lie, there are moments I miss the pre-baby days, but overall I spend most of my days on my knees, thanking God for intervening and surprising us. It is just the best thing ever, and it gets better all the time.

    • Michelle, THANK YOU for sharing this – I truly do feel encouraged. Our stories are so similar – and I know God will continue to surprise us with how perfect this gift really is. THANK YOU.

  • Oh my gosh, I love that he thought you had bought him something 😉 haha! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Lauren!

    • Thanks, Emily!! I know… it was so funny when he told me that after!! I was SO SURE he knew!!

  • Pingback: Finding Out We Were Pregnant (the second time!) | Two MartinisTwo Martinis()

  • Bailey

    Thank you for sharing your story! I am getting married in a few months, and although we don’t plan for kids for a few more years, the thought has crossed my mind “What if I’m pregnant sooner than we hoped?”

    • First of all, congrats!!! What a super exciting time in your life – planning a wedding is so fun and full of hope for the future!!! And ha! Yes, that IS definitely a possibility ;). I’m grateful it didn’t happen right away for us (we’ve been marred 3 and 1/2 years now), but I have friends that got pregnant right away without planning to lol. Whatever timing all those things happen for you, God will be with you in it and mold your heart to be more like his through the process.

      • Bailey

        Thank you! 🙂

  • A totally natural reaction! I think M and I just stared at each other with open eyes and mouths for what felt like aaaaages and then we laughed nervously for aaaaages lol. You go through a full gamut of emotions in such a quick few minutes at that moment of ‘the stick’ – and then through each and every one of them again throughout the pregnancy, and early baby days, and I”m guessing all through their lives! I love that you shared this part of your story.

    • Thanks so much!! We have definitely gone through various emotional rollercoasters through each stage of pregnancy since finding out – I can only imagine how that continues once she lives OUTSIDE of me and starts GROWING UP – ha!

  • this post is amazing. I felt a flood of different emotions while reading it. so glad to have found your blog and I’m looking forward to reading your future posts as you share about the coming journey. Many blessings!

    • Cassandra, thanks for taking the time to encourage me with this comment!!! So glad you enjoyed it.

  • This post reminds me of my friend Renee (http://mullingovermymorningcoffee.blogspot.com/2015/10/raw-emotions-pregnancy.html) who had a very similar experience when she found out she was pregnant. She’s now doing awesome and kicking ass at the mom thing, even though it was initially hard timing for her as well. You’ll be wonderful!

    • That’s awesome! Thanks for sharing her blog with me – headed there now to check her out!!

  • thank you so much for your honesty – it is so fun to “watch” you all prepare for this special little one and I love learning and gleaning from you!