Returning For Me And For Her

Baby Girl Chunky Rolls

It’s been a while since I’ve showed my face in this space. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to show up – I really have. But to be honest, I have so many thoughts and emotions swirling inside me that the effort of sorting them out completely overwhelmed me, so I ran the other direction.

But now I’m sitting in bed with my second cup of coffee, listening to the steady sleepy breaths of Jacob beside me and little Adeline in her bassinet and I’m feeling so sentimental. We took her for her first sick visits at the pediatrician this week because she had conjunctivitis (pink eye). The last couple of days she has wanted to snuggle and only sleeps on us – the poor thing. But despite feeling under the weather, she is still discovering so many things!

Earlier this week, I laid her on her belly for tummy time and the little nugget blew me away! She raised her head up so high, like she’d been doing this for years, and at the same time lifted her legs in what I like to call the “superman.” I realized with a little momentum she will roll over any day now! She is also so talkative with her baby sounds these days. She loves to make sounds when we are talking, as if she is trying to be part of the conversation, too. She has started touching her thighs when she’s on her back and it won’t be long before she reaches down to realize she has feet!

She still loves sucking on her fists and when she isn’t doing that, she is sucking on her lips with her tongue. It’s funny to see her preferences change over her short little life so far. She has started to love facing out when she’s on your lap so she can see what is going on around her, and every time she is in a “sitting” position she tries to lean her weight forward…. more proof of her strengthening neck, shoulder and back muscles!

It seems like these developments happened all at once when I wasn’t looking! It really is going by so quickly, and I realized this morning that I’ve hardly documented it at all! Sure, I’ve written in her baby book calendar as she reaches these milestones, but I haven’t journaled or blogged many of the details or shared my changing feelings as a new mom.

I sat here thinking I could hardly remember her newborn days, and it has only been 3 months! I started panicking, wanting to savor those moments and realizing I hadn’t written many of my thoughts from that time… Which is why I’m here. There is so much of this motherhood journey that has already changed me, and I don’t want to miss out on remembering when those changes happened. Nor do I want to miss out on remembering Adeline’s discoveries and changes as she grows so quickly through the years.

Thankfully I shared what I hope I never forget a couple months ago, but I plan on sharing more regularly… both about Adeline and about me. While I’ve truly been living in the moment and savoring all of those moments over these months, I want to have the written memories to spark the ones in my mind once 3 more months pass and my current feelings become hazy as they are replaced with the new phase of life we are in.

So here’s to returning to the art and discipline of writing. There’s a lot I haven’t told you.