I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. I’m so tired: tired from work, from being pregnant, and from the endless to-do lists, but at the same time I can’t sit still. Yesterday I reorganized our kitchen cabinets and wiped out utensil drawers… then I got started on cleaning out our closet, the one space I haven’t yet touched in this pregnancy nesting craze.
The fun thing about that, though, is that I found my memory box. And inside that box I found my old journals… talk about fun (and embarrassing)! I spent a couple hours skimming through the pages, not realizing how much of my life I’d accidentally documented! Many of those journals are a weird combination of to-do lists, grocery lists and meal plans, Scripture excerpts, blog post ideas, sermon notes and prayers, and random math equations (budgeting stuff probably??), but those snippets often whisked me back to specific seasons of my life.
I found the journal from our season of wedding planning… in it I had scribbled out my vows, ideas for the order of our ceremony, our wedding gift thank you list, song ideas for the ceremony, notes from wedding band shopping with Jacob, rough schedules for the day of the wedding, etc. I had no idea I kept that stuff, let alone that I did it in (mostly) one place! That same journal had all kinds of notes from when we were apartment hunting, trying to figure out where to get Internet for our new apartment, etc. What a treat to look back at that stuff!
I found a slew of other journals from my college years with all sorts of tidbits in it… notes from trying to redesign my blog, get a general “life plan” (AKA choose a major), the notes from the phone call when I was offered my first “big girl job” after college, etc. My favorite, though, was the journal from the time period Jacob and I started dating. Throughout college I had glued all sorts of notes from my friends into my journals, so this journal had all the notes Jacob wrote me.
A few weeks ago, I shared my reignited love for journaling – I love seeing God’s faithfulness through the words I’ve written and the ways he has responded to those prayers. But I also love getting transported back in time to specific seasons of my life and the relationships I had at the time. I’m so grateful I documented my feelings throughout those seasons of wedding planning, dating, struggling through friendships, wrestling with where to attend college and more. Those pages are glimpses of who I was at the time, which paints a beautiful picture of how much God has grown me since then, and glimpses of God walking with me through hard decisions.
Do you save your old journals? Have you ever looked back through them? There were definitely some cringe-worthy moments where I wish I could reach back in time and slap myself silly, but there were many more moments of enjoying memories I hadn’t recalled for some time and seeing how all the pieces of a situation fell perfectly together to get me where I am now.